I have always enjoyed writing, but have often been far too busy to scratch the itch! Life is still busy, but I have recently made the choice to make time to write.
Over the years I have taken on many different roles both personally with involvements in many different community based organisations and also in work that has led to three different careers. I launched this blog so that I could do something that I enjoy (writing) while sharing, what I hope, will be useful information with other men.
My story…. in short!
Although today I am happily married (26 years), with 3 lovely
grown up children, and run my own business, my upbringing on a council estate was very tough. Life was far from good as I grew up, experiencing poverty, hunger, violence at home and bullying in school. I left school at 16 to work in a milk factory to support the family. I had to learn to grow up -fast!
So, I know that life can be hard going. It can be fraught with many challenges and pressures. And sometimes, even though I have been surrounded by others, I have felt completely alone. I have struggled with depression and finding my identity. I have experienced great joys and also many heartaches. I have been very blessed, but also held back by deep hurts and frustrations and sometimes by the very choices I have made.
Yet, it can be too easy for us to let life experiences define us – for better or worse! We can choose to dwell on past mistakes or make better choices as to how we deal with life’s challenges. We don’t have to just accept our circumstances and play the victim. We should know that we don’t have to be alone. We can also choose, every new day, how we respond and make better decisions that lead to healthier outcomes for all.
Why ‘A Simple Choice’?
As I pondered what to call this blog I reflected on the fact that our journey through life can be charted by our daily choices. Sometimes these are major things like getting married, moving home and changing job. Often, they are the simple choices we make like having that extra beer or glass of wine, staying later in work, and how we spend our time.
When we were young our choices were made for us and heavily influenced by our carers or parents. As we grew and developed further we started to make our own choices. Later in life, we may have taken on responsibility for others’ choices such as our children, grandchildren, god-children and even elderly parents.
I know we can’t change the past, but I also recognise that we can create a very different future by the choices we make each day!
John Bancroft, 2019
Increasing pressure on men
Today, I believe that there are many more expectations on men, but also conflicting messages, particularly on how we are supposed to ‘be’. I think this increased pressure and struggling with our identity is sometimes leading men to make poor life choices.
So, how can we make better choices? The right choices. Choices that help not hinder. Let’s explore this together.
My source for much of what I will write is based on my own experience. I will also carry out research on the current issues and challenges faced by men and refer to authoritative information, studies and research.
I hope you enjoy reading and find this blog helpful in your own choices and journey.
All the best John